Dog Talk

21 11 2014

Let’s discuss etymology. For those out there challenged by syllables (i.e. certain men), I’m talking words.word

Science tells us that the humble dog is able to recognize more words than ever before thought. Beyond the simple “fetch”, “sit”, “shake”, “ball”, and the proverbial (literally) “no”.no-means-yes

Words like “impossible,” “never”, “stupid”, “stubborn”, and even (cringe) “neutering” have resided in the canine dictionary for centuries. And we didn’t learn them from man, we learned them because of man.caveman

The dog is inherently optimistic. The possibility of the “impossible” is a never-ending focus in our minds. Ever see a dog sitting statue-like at the base of a tree waiting for a squirrel to make a misstep?

Ever watch the canine attempt to bite the mailman through the front-door glass––every day, rain or shine, for a decade. the idea that it will never happen, dare I say “NEVER” occurs to him. Otherwise he would have given it up the second day.

“Stupid?” Not in the Webster’s Canine. Since wolf-times, dog has known that each failure up the ladder of success leads you closer to the prize. What dog is born with the knowledge they need to survive? Try, and try again, does not imply stupidity. It speaks to adaptation.

And “stubborn?” Nay, we use the word persistent. Part of evolution and natural selection. Give up and you die.images

“Neutering?” What self respecting canine would EVER invent the idea let alone the word?

The moral: Man is too easy with his labels, failing century-after-century to understand the root of his words, passing off traits he finds displeasing as failure, in one way or another.

Dog’s message to man: Relax. Take a Milk-bone.milk+bone1 Stretch out in a patch of sunlight pouring through the dining room window. Let your instinct guide you.

Trade your Webster’s for a dog.Dictionary Experiment


By Any Other Name

26 06 2014

So, I hear that the Washington Redskins have been “urged” to change their name. Why are Native Americans the only offended group? And, if so, what about the Kansas City Chiefs? Or the Cleveland Browns? Anybody guess what that name is about? louis-joe-22And the Titans and the Giants (clearly a reference to the overweight), and the Buccaneers (slander toward those privateers who made ancient trade routes great). Is their no justice for those groups? Where are the relatives of Buffalo Bill? Do the Patriots represent those American Communists who may also enjoy football, or the Saints include their atheist fans? And, is there no justice for the animal world? Where does the SPCA stand on the Colts, the Eagles, or the Ravens?


As a dog, I propose that football discard all tags and references and use the only sure-fire way to identify anything: the nose.


Once employed, there is no longer any doubt as to the nature of the beast sniffed. Not only the last bath can be detected, but the last meal, as well; the last hand to stoke a back, and virtually all previous encounters and wanderings. Want to name your team the Redskins without offending? Put together a group of Apaches. The Vikings? Real Norwegians wearing horned helmets. The Buccaneers? Eye patch and swords, of course.

You think Rome used to host the greatest animal games? Try watching a team of Bears, Panthers, or Jaguars claw it out on the field.cr2

This accomplished, the only judgements rendered will be nothing but the truth. Gone will be slanders and insults. “It is what it is” becomes the mantra, and the teams identified by scent.

The Washington Corruption. Now there’s a name we all might agree upon…corruption


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