Notes from “a Dog” on Writing.

20 09 2016

Dogs know the way to pen a tale. Any writer can learn how. Read on:

A Lesson In Storytelling From The Ultimate Dog Tease

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Round One

31 03 2012

It’s spring here in Tuscany and Fraud-the-cat is testing out her stalk and sleuth instincts on yours truly.  Taking into account that, because of her winter laziness, she has a few pounds on me, I should not be embarrassed by an occasional slam to the ground. I SHOULD simply walk away from such activity, especially since I KNOW it gives Fraud any pleasure at all, and yet….

My larger brain (yes, all Terriers have larger-than-normal brains.
A fact widely overlooked by the scientific community, but inherently known by all dogs…) leads me to take the bait and return the pounce.

I know that, until I have adequately bulked up from seasonal feasts such as baby hare, fresh percorino and spring lamb (preferably in a hardy ragu with penne pasta), I have no advantage against the bulbous, grey dirigible called Fraud.

Witness:  

Chow…





Getting Up is Living

1 07 2011

For all those skeptical that a small dog might climb the vines and vineyard wires, let alone anything else, I offer Sofia.

She may not be of the ‘”terrorista” breed, but she knows (as does any dog) the best way to get ahead in the world: One paw at a time.  And, as I quoted yesterday in a soon-to-be famous tweet: FALLING DOWN IS LIFE, GETTING UP IS LIVING…Chow.





I Confess

23 06 2011

I confess, I know a bit about adultery.  My master has a little something on the side (see the “about” page on this blog).  He’s Latin, Italian to be exact, and he’s a man.  Two and two often make three: The infidel, the mistress and the wife. Reference: Silvio Berlusconi (well, in his case the sum may have been more than three.)

I can identify with straying, though I firmly believe infidelity should include no more than a cursory bark and sniff. This, by the way, does not employ tweeting, emailing or texting but the use of the eyes, the nose and the voice-box only.

Fortunately, most Latin males who stray may gain easy absolution via Catholic confession. This satisfies not only the priest’s appreciation for a bawdy story but the offender’s guilt, as well.

Would that it were so easy.

Absolution is more difficult to gain at home, I’ve found.  It is not always true that is is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Thankfully, dogs are speechless.  Otherwise, we would perpetually be in the confessional, let alone the dog-house.

Given the propensity for adultery among Latins, one wonders why the church hasn’t gone automated WAY before now:

Note to self: Enunciation is important—in any language.

Chow.





Gathering Nuts

7 09 2009

The squirrels are out in full force up in the Pincio. There’s nary a nut to be found now.  They’re all squirreled away, if you will.

I sit and watch the dizzying creatures, mostly.  Chasing them is fun, but it becomes tiresome after a while.  Squirrel, tree, squirrel, tree, squirrel, tree.

So, I muse of other ways to use this rodent.  Below is one of my favorites.  It’s design reminds me somewhat of a machine Leonardo might have developed had he simply switched his obsession from flying a human

to flying a squirrel:

Then there’s the commercial amusement of providing the squirrel with a different take on an e-ticket Disney ride:

Either way, I want one of each, please.

Chow.





Allen! Allen! Steve?

19 06 2009

Of course, all dogs know that every creature speaks some sort of language.  Often it’s difficult to decipher, especially those animals coming from Britain.  The British Flag by Chris BreezeI mean, what an accent.

What many don’t know, however, is that groundhogs are extremely nearsighted….Eye Chart by von_brandis

Witness:

Chow.





Associate Producer

30 05 2009

I think I’ve found my niche, that is if I can find someone with an opposable thumb.

My idea: A new Game Show for dogs.  Cable TV; mid-afternoon time slot, just after the usual small meal and short walk-around; something to provide a little humor as a dog drifts into a little nap.

We’ll call it Whack-A-Kitty.  Here’s the pilot:

Now if I can just get PetCo to come in as sponsor.  Maybe they’d like to do lunch?

Chow.








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