Cats

5 09 2008

Did I mention that anytime I post anything about cats~Cute Cats~, I get as many hits on my blog in a few hours as I normally do in a day?

It’s yet another species slur as far as I’m concerned.Bella the Cat

Do dogs not inspire?  Do they not compel people to google and search?  And why not?

Is it because cat people sit idley by the computer with nothing better to do than surf the web for the antics of the cats they love, simply because the cats they love are immobile, Fat Cat Poopedsloth-like on a feather cushion, whiling away the hours of daylight only to become roaming maniacs at night?Spew Warning - Montana the Cat's Halloween Costume

Surely dog owners are in the park, on the other end of a game of fetch, or hiking with their favorite St. Bernard, trusty cask within reach, no?

Swiss Mountain St. BernardsWhat cat can serve up a shot of brandy, I ask you?

Ever hike with a cat?  Ever tempt a feline to fetch?  bored catHa!

You cat people need to get out more.

frisbee dogGo get a dog.

Chow.





To Skin a Cat

15 07 2008

There is a cat next door.  A surly, serious, dim-witted cat with no sense of humor.   The "mean" CatHe sits on the wall of the terrazzo, just beyond my reach, eyeing the ripening tomatoes behind me. 

 

I bark in fun, giving a short, jest-full rise to the end of my communiqué.  He hisses, claws poised to do harm.

 

Cats seldom have a sense of humor.  They certainly lack the ability to find themselves funny in any way and most hold a sense of entitlement rivaled only by a Caesar.  This is perpetuated by the Roman Gattinare: hundreds of elderly women who make their daily business to feed the thousands of feral cats that inhabit Roman ruins.Cat Overlooking the Roman Amphitheatre in Syracuse, March 2005Feral Roman Cats In Ruins

 

And yet, the feral dogs that roam the Pincio garner only thrown stones and shouts…

 

While I can see the attraction most humans have for the feline: furry, cute, blah, blah, blah.  They are, for the most part, conniving, manipulative and undependable.

 

How many cats can cross the floor on the spur of the moment, Catito kneadingwithout taking time to plot the entire trip from cat-stretch to pounce?

 

How many cats are willing to wait for their breakfast before they use their claws to begin to knead and furrow any bare skin peeking through the covers?I knead you

 

And how many cats can you depend upon to run to the door to meet you every time you open it?

 

Evolutionarily speaking, I think dog-kind as a whole should give the attraction some thought.  Fine tuning may be in order: sharper claws, the adoption of a more aloof spirit, the hint of caution to each adventure.

 

Man must enjoy a certain amount of punishment, no?

 

Chow.





Whatta Ya in Fer?

15 05 2008

So, here I am behind bars.  No one here is happy. Gilboa Israel Regional Dog Pound Write the Minister of AgOne square a day and no affection.  The Face - Dog PoundThey slide a dish through a slot in the bars and scrap away anything I might extrude.  Uma the pound dog in Tucson

 

The The cat next door is in for biting a baby.  Rough, that.  What a dunce the feline is for taking it’s frustration out on a freshly hatched human.  Even I, with little direct knowledge of such a creature, can glean that to bite a small child is the highest offense.

The cat’s mouth is swabbed twice a day.  It spits its way through the deed then chomps onto the stick as though it’s mouse flesh, and growls its way from lunacy to a better mood. 

It’s been here longer than I and I wonder if I’ll end up the same way: mad at the world, mean dogor simply mad, period.

Chow.





Defining Rome

28 04 2008

Few things define a city as much as it laws.  a tribute - charlton heston as moses in the ten commandments

The edicts of a small town in Hungary will reflect the nature of it’s conservative residents; the statutes of liberal, big-city Paris, do the same.

Here in Rome, a quick look at the books will give you an instant education on the character and principles of it’s people.Roman soldier

For instance:

1) A law has been passed allowing Rome’s stray cat population to thrive, untouched in the place where they were born. Feral Roman Cats In RuinsVisit any ruin and you will see the evidence of frenzied felines as they scatter through the rubble.  Cavernous tombs echo the details of cat calls.  Old women provide free food on a daily basis to these curs.

I find it an affront to the common dog.  After all, were not Romulus and Remus, upon whose foundation Rome was built, suckled by the wolf?

Lupa feeding Romulus and RemusSimply because Rome crawls with oblisks is no reason to perpetuate the Egyptian’s love of cats…

2) The Italian Supreme Court has legalized the right of males to pat the derrier’s of their female constituents.  It’s an actual law.  It’s legal, it’s encouraged, it’s allowed.  Italians understand that the sexes ar different.  Not only do they embrace the fact, they glorify it.  Bubble butts

It’s hard on the lawyers here, but they are generally kept busy by the frequent changing of the political guard…they have enough to do without having to try to explain the peculiarities of the male species in court, let alone change the laws of nature.

PoliceThe Law’s the Law.

Chow.








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